a let it rain

page nine

2008-04-22T05:41:00.000-07:00

hello. sorry for the lack of updates! but here i am. so yay! :D

1. i love jan for always being there for me! ure the loveliest cutest friend on earth and i love to walk with you, endlessly!

2. my back is very pain. i cant go dance. i am sad. i need to count costumes. pika.

3.i feel very very tired, i am sick.

4.i think i suck, cus there are so many things undone.

i sit down on the floor by my table, i pick up the puzzles left lying around. i ponder to myself why am i living for, i ask God again why im here. i realized everyone's not beside me, when i actually needed them most. i find myself crying, weeping like a child. the string snapped through my fingers, im watching it fly up high.

if loving you was a crazy thing, i would have lose all my senses. i tell myself, baby, that everything, would eventually be alright. but i cant see the light, not yet? it takes patience to hold onto your finger, reaching out in the darkest night. i miss the night, when i was dreaming away, i dreamt of a family with you. am i to ask? am i your happiness. i find myself at the crossroad, but the urge to continue loving you was strong. i cant hit the notes to the first love song you sang me, but it plays painfully in my head. i tried to find someone new, but you're so deep in my thoughts. i look into his eyes, and i say your name

instead. baby, you're my dance tune.

ps! sorry lovable friends!im not going to hold my birthday party! (no time and all) but pls turn up for my party during the hols! i promise promise promise XD! chocolate fondue!dont ask me how am i going to celebrate my 18 birthday, cause, yeah, who knows i'll prolly just lie on the beach and die in seclusion. lol. but yesyes, 761, jansiokbervyn!, rachelkwanandalycialee, my birthday every year will never do without you guys! i know you guys enjoy watching me get older i love you. i'll tell you guys when im free again okay! muack muack muack.

page eight

2008-04-04T10:29:00.000-07:00

evan asked what did i do today. i think i had a fruitful day! cus i spent my day with the loveliest people on earth, and my bestest friends and i got my precious cloths and craving. wow. im such a contented baby.

a list of the very contented things i had accomplished ;

1. i woke up and changed my gems. so im in customer service! (muaha! im going to ask the lecturer how to deal with the FUCKING NABEH CHEEB*E LANJI*O OL's!(office ladys)) they're the F cheapskate pple in town la plus they have this "im the queen of the universe" attitude you just hate! pls msn me @ zhutoubendan@hotmail.com if you ever want to know what took place. i swear to give you a clean whole detail and let you see the ugly nature of OL. rmb. its ugly NATURE. fuck that piece of OL.)

2. i work 12 to 5pm (: 30 bucks.

3. i ended work and the bus came just in time. sin ee was late again, so she treated me to a drink.

4. i ate fish and chips and drank root bear, which satifies my F and C craving since wed!

5. i bought a long skirt and sarong pants, in bright colours, my fav! both tgt only 25 bucks! (:

6. i walked with sinee from bugis to far east! i love walks with beautiful pple!

7. we walked more in far east, while all the baggage was left at yingqiu's boutique.

8. we tried on the LOUDEST clothes at yingqiu's boutique and im going to get mummy to get me that CK blouse! i also want that DKNY colourful cdress. XD

9. i had fries with vanilla ice cream and ice lemon tea for supper!

10. sinee and yingqiu are the most awesome babes on earth!

11. i thought my day was ending whilst in the 162M ; den boyf called and said he misses me and wants to see me. hestitated ; but he cab down over to my place and i had my wonderful rendevous once again. contented fat baby!

12. i love today and today was love! more todays please!

13. school's starting and i can dress up! yaye. all my pretty clothes are set free from the closet! (pardon me! the whole hols was cartel shirt, jeans, SDZ pants, big shirts and leotard =_=)

xoxo. today today and today

page seven

2008-04-01T10:27:00.000-07:00

this post is so inspired by jan sum hui ling. HAHA! yes friends! lol, weird and pri sch topic, but. whatever, (:

to you first! jan sum hui ling ling. you know, although we may not like talk over the phone every night or what. but every meet up is like awesome cus we talk about anything under the sun( er hm, except some topics, that i only can relate to that MADwoman) but hey! i reallllly miss you soo soo much, and im glad we're gonnna spend many awesome days when sch reopens for me! so i get to see you at least twice a month! of cus there'll be friday nights(horror!) HAHA! and saturday swimmings! yesyesyes your xanga reallly make me wanna cry laugh and jump on the bed whatsoever. TOAPAYOH AUNTIES!

and then SIOKXIN! for a moment i forgot what's your surname. NG SIOKXIN! its wonderful how i cld call you dear honey plus cherry on top every time i see you. and we are the wackiest friends on earth and i tell you i love to talk to you like a million times, i bet the others would like drop their jaw when they hear i did ____ , or whatsoever, or i ________. and they cant give me the same answers as you! AHAH! you're a friend that's staying with me for my whole life and i will grow old with you plus kiss your lips even when we have no teeeth! (:

CHELKWAN and ALYCIA LEE! ive so many many many pretty memories of you 2 pple. and im glad like we're stilll connected after likeeee. 6 years! yes. this friendship is going to last! and i will snore to my fullllest. primary schoool days are so beautiful and its even better when we see each other grow up so much (: i'll always be here for you guys just like how you were there for me. always and forever!

761! still going strong! i know the JC pple are struggling and i wish we would still stay close. reallly! go to U soon okay! den we can have more common time! and lets club together when we're ALL 18! *pressure goes to the youngest* AHHAHA! i love love love love love you guys! and sorrry for all my stubborness, tempers , rants, cries , blah blah! idk why you pple still love me. but i still love you (: HAHA!

the POLY clique, its great that i can actually clique with you guys , and even when im faced with dejection from my class, you guys still care about me. it's amazing to share such bond! HAHA! yes! pray to have more common breaks! swimming fridays jeff! LOL!

SDZ! dance crew is dope and its amazing how a crew can be so bonded because we share the common interest! continue to work hard and i wont leave you guys! promise promise promise! WAVES!

page six

2008-03-16T09:33:00.001-07:00

people lesbians gays and friends. im so tired these four days! and i still have tons of things to do! thursday and friday are left working. jan's time on thursday! caught stepup2! awesome! met pamo on friday for breakfast! awesome! saturday was goood too! IKEA IKEA IKEA! thai bistro! and TP dance concert! shall show you my room once i fix it! awesome! anyways! had work early this morning after which i caught SKY of LOVE! initiallly i thought it was like argh another love story! but the climax really caught me 54321! go watch pple!

anyways! im soooo tired now i shall allow the pictures to do the talking!

page five

2008-03-12T02:38:00.000-07:00

hello. lack of updates! because GOH YINGQIU toook away my SD card! plus. im awfulllly sick ):

you know how bad can that get. my head get clogged and my nose cant blow out air. i have to breathe with my sexy mouth it gets so dry i have to drink alot of water. and my body naughtily cannot absorb it , it stores in my bladder ive to run to the toilet like 4 times in 2 hours. its reallllly bad so do not contract serious flu.

sunday! did i tell you i swear not to do morning shifts on sunday anymore! you know why. sleeep in's on sunday morning are the most beautiful thing you could ever ask for, esp with the slight drizzle beating upon your moist face and cuddling in your warm familiar scent blanket and looking at baby lying across the bed looking at you with love, yes!

monday was a blast, pretty much cus i was like 50% sick! but still, ive obeyed the rules and regulations of happy times and had good fun and laughter with the babes! a new era evolved when none of us was like LATE! HAHA! yay! it was drizzzling the moment i step unto the shore of sentosa and still drizzling when i place the colourful mats we bought onto the sand. drizzling heavier when we munch on our cheesecake and 761 all time favourite secret recipe sandwhiches AHHA! we still went into the water any old how! it was still drizzzling. yet. alll the time, though it was drizzzling, i still had sunburn ): i shall leave out all the small details and upload the pics when my SD card comes back! HAHA, its at keat hong now.

monday night was monday night. and 3 babes headed over to sleeep over at my place after heavy dinnner at crystal jade holland v with cold rock ice creams! ckh had schoool so she studieddd maths. nse had work so she slept, gyq and rc had nothing so they ransacked the cupboarddddddd and pour out alll the accessories and cut out shapes from the red board, and they walked the dog.

breakfast on tuesday was goooood! and we travellled to gyq;s house! headed to town! to meet evan, shooppping and all. i was terribly sick already! HAHA! had cartel for dinnner. cus sherrry yeo was host. ugly. but urgh. HAHA! i reached home early for the first time! congratulate me quick!

yes and i stayed at homeeee all day today! but im heading out later. HAHA! i hope i dont have to ton at changi. ): so cold! and yes. its raining means i get to wear my jumper! (: meeting nic 9pm at marsiling later. god damn far and early. ah. i still have to go buy my polaroid films ):

baby is back in sg! xoxo~

page four

2008-03-08T17:21:00.000-08:00

i miss HOUSE! and yes baby im going HOUSE 2! but i still want reggae and girls hiphop(studiowu) plus i have balllet! HOWHOWHOW! i have work(optional)! i have friends(cannot live without)! i have baby(right beside the computer)! o! i have IJ convent work too ): and COVO! ): and CLS FO CAMP!

ytd we had a HOUSE choreo! i didnt knew it could look so nice! and fun! house 2! and did i tell you i went swimming ytd but could not make it! i have such bad stamina! HAHA! den good lunch with siokxin! i did a dance for her! feel alright by sean paul! HAHA! i love regggae! and i love siokxin more!

was superrr tired! but i still went to my cousin's place! the baby is so freaking cute la! its like allll red and turgid with the smalllest hand and feeet! okay i admit i had the thought to give birth to my own! HAHA! but i'll be such an aunty after that. tsk! ate like maggot, so hungry! foood was goood! and cab home which i hit the sacks immediately!

sometimes when i look back, i count my blessings again and again, oh who art in heaven has given me many choices in life, and i chose the right/wrong one myself. i prayed to leave no regrets and developed the beauty of patience and waiting has become part of my everyday life. God sees and will make a way. daddy once told me if i really want smth, i just have to pray and wait and God will either lead me into it or bring it away to curb my temptation. i believe God is there and he hears me, and i live on this faith he would bring me happiness as long as i trust him. ive seen every life changing event taking place in my life and it did not fail to prove God has been with me even after i backslided so long, thank you father. u lifted me up and i know even if i walk by the shadows of death, there'll be still a you , close to me.

strumming his fingers~

page three

2008-03-07T10:33:00.000-08:00

helllllllo (: yaye. those pics were taken ytd! nic bought his topman belt and wore it on the spot. so coool yo. HAHA! den went to eat! okay , st louis is crap seriously! ee yer. had my cake! i caught leap years again! YAYE! twice. im going catch it again with baby. baby callled halfway. was a weeeeny upset already! omans! 5 days isnt long right! yes! im so packed! gooody. anyways! had quite an enjoyableee time. and i want to emo again next sunday with nic! YAYE cant wait!

did i tell you, hello! alvin you have your pic posted up up up up there! HAHA! with elmo! (: and nic loooks dumb with the flowers zilch.

i had captain;s ballll in schoool today! omfg. i totallllly lost all my stamina! i cld play 4 halfs last time while i died today in 2nd half! owells, didnt reallly lose my skillls that much! still jumpable i can say, considering the lumpy fats dangling over my oversized frame body! i met evan for lunch at holllland v! and im so going back at night! i want WALA WALA! had to rush to work ): late! cashier was boring! no more louie wong! ): usual routine! im back home now!

YAYE! tmr is swimming with my dearest girlfriend! and dear is coming over to my place tmr! goooody! im having HOUSE@oschoool in the afternoooon. and there's a test! omy. i missed last weeeek! i'll still get my certificate! XD dance dance dance! prob heading over to my cousin;s place! cus its his one month! so cute! i hope it ends early. so i get to go timbre with randalll and co.!

to alll my babys out there! hey girls, you know. im tired. realllly. but i stilll love you guys. like sooo much. i know its tough. everything's fallling apart. we've totalllly chosen different paths. 7 different paths! but i hope you guys make it a point to comee and gather. not for a special occassion but to mend and mould a lasting friendship with each and everyone. i still want you 6 girls to be at my weddding. to go out with my kids. to go to the temple to pray when im old , everything okay. sorrry , i love you(s)!

you only love me throught the rey dee o~

page two

2008-03-05T08:53:00.000-08:00

FUNK! lol, i know you love the red and black stripes people yo; i had dance the whole of today! and the freaking tooty air conditioner is spoilt which means i sweated, no perspired like a god damn spider pig. till my eye liner ran like kookoo. yes. was soooooo HOT. house, namie , funk and modern. oh. i do not exactly like the modern choreo but i dont mind dancing it. we'll see!and floorwork is a triple NONO. i am so heavy i have no strength to transfer the leggys ): be sad!

anyhooody, part of the team went for suppppper! buzz light years, schizo's side parting is the SEX! baby called while i was walking home! thanks! kinda made my walk a happier one. ohwells.

i cant wait for tmr like yaye! and i feeeel like shoppping for eternity but ive promise real and fake baby to save moolah which i could never succeed in doing so. grants, i need to meeet nic at 2pm. frigggin early. i hope i can get my butt off to bathe or what. and leap years again! and hello alvin. i know you're reading! you have to take a polaroid shot tmr i dont care! im serious! look into my eyes! HAHA,

and i neeed to declare smth that GOH YINGQIU IS ALSO THE FUNNNIEST BABY ON EARTH cus she always put a smile on my frowned face, though she doesnt take charge of the weakness in me itself, but at least distract it for a moment. and i want yoga class with baby!

i need you boo

page one

2008-03-04T13:01:00.000-08:00

apparently this is my new blog, i know. AGAIN! hello people reading, i know you guys are like thinking i'll be abandoning this blog yet again right! BUT LET ME TELL YOU! you are sooo RIGHT! keep my in each and every of your prayers i'll be faithfully updating every single day and i will take a picture every single day and post every other day okay okay!

and please say my blog song is sooo wonderfully awesomee right, i fell in love with this song ever since i heard my momma sang it on karaoke! life's been goood, yes and no goood. but ive past the no good and now its good. so i hope everyone;s good.

skip yesterday! did some baking at yingqiu's place and went for modern dance! my blisters are getting more and more and more! (teletubby tone) and i saw sweetheart last night! baby dont wear white anymore, you look awesomely funny (: but i love you twice as much. i had work today! 12 to 10! okay it was realllllllllly tiring. maybe cause im such a fat butt. plus ass and all. BIG crash. the letterman. haha! oops. nono. its postman, chose to send my results slip TODAY and i got a reallly big big big huge emongous lecture. i may drop optometry! science is like the geekiest thing i'll ever take for my whole remaining life and i'll never allow my kids to take science. yucks. eeeee. pui.

its 5.16am now! and! ive beeen staying awake since 9am yesterday! freak! to do this -going to be abandoned soon- blog! thanks alvin! hello; haha!thanks for the company.

to baby! i love the way how you touch and kiss my shoulders , hug me so tight i had to stop breathing for a moment, blow me your smoke with a smile and pinch my fats all year round! HAHA.

and to my all year(s) round wonderful babes! you know who you are! HAHA! and my dearest ALYCIA LEE SI XUAN. you know, if i could i would marrry you for lifetime so i could hide and cry under your blanket whenever wherever! i love you like. more than baby already. AHAHHA!

i cant wait for next weeeek like totallllllly. cause im going paint the RIVER RED AND MY HOUSE ORANGE AND TOWN BLUE AND MY FACE PURPLE! HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHA!

window window, throw you out of the window.